By David Ettinger
Please read the account in 2 Samuel Chapter 13.
A Terrible Occurrence
What a horrible and tragic mess! Poor Tamar had been raped by her brother Amnon. What was her fate? Wicked Amnon. We know what his fate was, but what should it have been? Let’s take a look, starting with Tamar. (Trusting you either read the infamous account referenced above before reading this blog, or you are already familiar with it.)

Tamar’s fate can be summed up in one word: Devastation. Because she was no longer a virgin, her father David could not offer her to any potential husband. As a “fornicator,” Tamar would become an object of reproach throughout Jerusalem. Though innocent, she would bear the stigma of her defilement the rest of her days.
What of Tamar’s petition to Amnon when she realized he was about to take her by force? She pled with him, “Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.”[1]
This isn’t true; the Mosaic Law prohibited marriage between brother and sister and half-brother and half-sister (as were Amnon and Tamar). Leviticus 20:17 says, “If a man marries his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace.” Tamar would have known this, but likely suggested marriage in order to stave off Amnon’s destructive intent. However, the wicked oldest son of David was not interested in marrying Tamar; he wanted her sexually.
The Aftermath
Following the heinous act, Amnon sent Tamar away to her new wretched reality. She put ashes on her head and tore her royal robes, both displays of intense grief and mourning. She had lost her purity, and with it any reasonable opportunity for marriage.

The tearing of her robe was significant. The beautifully ornamented garment had identified Tamar as a virgin daughter of the king, a lofty status. Following her rape, she would never wear that robe again.
David has been accused of blundering badly in leaving Tamar alone with Amnon. Virgin daughters were kept separate from men so that none could see them alone. However, when David sent Tamar to Amnon’s room, she was not alone.
After Tamar prepared the bread in sight of all who were in the room, Amnon refused to eat it. “‘Send everyone out of here,’ Amnon said. So everyone left him.”[2] That order set the stage for what soon happened. Now the question is, what action should David have taken against Amnon following the rape?
Clear Biblical Directives
Back to Leviticus 20:17, this time in its entirety: “If a man marries his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace. They are to be publicly removed from their people. He has dishonored his sister and will be held responsible” (italic added). At the very least, Amnon should have been exiled – cut off from the covenant community of Israel. He should have been banished from the borders of Israel proper and sent to live in one of the neighboring nations.
But there was also the matter of the rape; this was not a consensual act between willing adults. Amnon was 100 percent at fault. The Mosaic Law dealt with rape. If a man raped a virgin woman pledged to be married, he was to be put to death.[3] If he raped a virgin not pledged to be married (as was Tamar), he was to “pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives” (Deuteronomy 22:28).

But this case was different. Amnon did not rape just any virgin; he raped his sister. So which law took precedence? Was Amnon to marry the virgin he raped, or was that law set aside because this particular virgin happened to be his stepsister?
It is unimaginable that God would have permitted such a perversion as sibling marriage to exist in Israel, therefore, at the very least, the law regarding relations between brother and sister should have been enforced. Amnon, plain and simple, should have been banished, forever cut off from the people of Israel and God’s blessings.
And yet, when told what had happened, King David, “was furious.”[4] And? Sadly, “and” nothing. David did nothing to discipline his son’s abominable crime. Why? Scripture doesn’t say, but it could be that David’s sin with Bathsheba and Uriah had become known, causing him to lose his moral authority over his family. His moral credibility was gone.
Two years later, Amnon would be murdered. For the rest of her life, Tamar would be a ruined woman. And David could do nothing about either. This is one of the most grievous events in the Bible and proves how far God’s chosen servants (in this case, David) can sink when sin is left unchecked.
[1] 2 Samuel 13:3
[2] 2 Samuel 13:9
[3] Deuteronomy 22:25-27
[4] 2 Samuel 13:21
vicklea
January 21, 2019
Such a sad story. Tamar was restored with the Heavenly Father when she died, but it’s awful that she had to live with this pain her entire life. It’s a good picture of how our bad choices affect others.
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dettinger47
January 21, 2019
Amen, Vickie.
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VictorsCorner
January 21, 2019
This was a terrible incident in David’s household. I wonder if parental irresponsibility contributed to it!
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dettinger47
January 22, 2019
Hi victor. I’m sure it played a big role.
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Anonymous
August 12, 2019
You are absolutely wrong! Half bro
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
But the laws still apply as of the Mosaic Law. For instance, Abraham’s marriage to Sarah was pre-Mosaic Law, so it was permitted. But this was not the case following. Thanks for commenting.
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David
August 12, 2019
Who are you to sink King David, the epitome of Sainthood! Your interpretation is by enlarge is extremely faulted even in respect to the insignificant detail of what food she prepared which was dumplings and not bread . David did not sin and Amnon and Tamar were brother and step sister. I can’t for the life of me understand why Christian ministers and scholars believe that they’re in any way or form qualified to comment on Jewish theological concepts, when in fact they have no clue vis-a-vis the complexity of the exegesis!
Since you seem to be so busy criticizing your own brothers and sisters (ie, VP Pence, etc) how on earth or heaven do you find the time to criticize ours? Lol!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
I found this reply in my spam folder and moved it over. I was raised in Yeshiva, and am a Jewish believer in Yeshua HaMashiach. May you find peace in our common Jewish Messiah, who has already come and died for your sins and mine, my friend. Peace be to you.
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David
August 12, 2019
I have the utmost pity for you. Obviously the Yeshivah you attended was a source of pain and heartache for you! Since we’re in exile occasionally some Rabbis are faulted individuals who lack a loving approach. Our righteous saviour has not as yet arrived and in the Jewish concept of Moshiach … the original non-watered down version, there’s no such thing as one man dying for the sins of all! When Ben David comes death will cease. It’s so close Dettinger, but if you’ve converted you might miss out!
I’ll pray that you will forgive all those who were the cause your negative experiences and come to enlightenment. You see … all the good, decent and deserving gentiles irrespective of their belief in a second coming will be saved. But for a Jew there’s no greater sin than converting. However G-d is kind to all and hopefully He Will take into consideration all the pain, humiliation and confusion you suffered in your youth.
Now let’s see how open-minded the moderator truly is, since most would censor this comment not allowing it to go through!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Hi friend. You’re comment has been approved and posted. Now, what about my comments regarding what the Tanach says about David’s sin? I gave you the verses straight out of the Tanach. Please comment.
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David
August 12, 2019
They are there awaiting approval, but in the meantime even though I already posted this, look at it again:
(Please understand that the Torah is full of secrets and codes and as I already said, I can’t expose all I know on a public forum. A discerning intellect should pick up a great deal between the lines.)
QUOTE: “This is very much a “nutshell” answer, but one who never sinned or has examined deeply the story of David and Bashevah will understand clearly that David never sinned! G-d Forbid.
On the other hand, sinners, boors and non-scholars will come to the opposite conclusion. This happens to have been engineered precisely by G-d in order to teach repentance to the masses. I’ll leave the interpretation to you, since I’m not ready to expose too much in a public forum.
Consider the following however: A tree that is rotten gives off rotten fruit! The fruit of this questionable relationship between David and Bashevah was King Solomon, the wisest man to have ever walked this planet. Who likewise merited the construction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. G-d’s House, literally!
Doesn’t sound like a rotten fruit to me!”
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Everything you wrote has been approved and posted.
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David
August 12, 2019
What happened to my prior comment?
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
I only saw the one comment.
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David
August 12, 2019
Hmmm?
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Humm what? If you’ve got a point to make, please do so.
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David
August 12, 2019
I wrote you a mind-shattering explanation as to how wrong you are. Whatever happened to it??
In short David never sinned and Amnon and Tamar were unrelated. She was called his sister since she had been adopted by his father David the King, the epitome of sainthood!
I’m too tired to repeat my previous commentary on the entire complex exegesis, but David had a very good and holy reason for resorting to silence in respect to Amnon’s violation of Tamar! You can email me and I’ll send you my phone number. I’m a Rabbi and as a habit I don’t discuss these things with missionaries, but since we’re only days away from the coming of our righteous saviour, I’ll make an exception!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Hi David. For some reason, I never received your longer explanation. Where does the Bible say that Tamar was adopted? Please let me know the verse. Thank you.
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David
August 12, 2019
This is very much a “nutshell” answer, but one who never sinned or has examined deeply the story of David and Bashevah will understand clearly that David never sinned! G-d Forbid.
On the other hand, sinners, boors and non-scholars will come to the opposite conclusion. This happens to have been engineered precisely by G-d in order to teach repentance to the masses. I’ll leave the interpretation to you, since I’m not ready to expose too much in a public forum.
Consider the following however: A tree that is rotten gives off rotten fruit! The fruit of this questionable relationship between David and Bashevah was King Solomon, the wisest man to have ever walked this planet. Who likewise merited the construction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. G-d’s House, literally!
Doesn’t sound like a rotten fruit to me!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
To say David never sinned is the height of error. Have you actually read the account in the Tanach. The prophet Nathan tells David that he sinned.
“Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes?” (2 Kings 7-9).
“Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
You may also want to read Psalm 51.
I’m sorry my friend, but the facts line up against you. You are making up your own narrative.
I’ve got to question where you are getting your information from? Certainly not the Tanach, God’s inspired and ordained Word.
May the peace of Yeshua upon you my friend.
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David
August 12, 2019
Now you’re showing your true colours by being insulting and condescending. I’m a student of Torah and Tanach for over 50 years! Of course I’m aware of Nathan’s admonishments to David and even more so David himself in admits to sinning with Bashevah. However I could have a 5 hour long conversation with you likewise from the Tanach that explains Nathan’s admonishments and David’s confession in a way that you would be convinced that in fact he didn’t sin. Just to bearly touch on the subject don’t forget that all Jewish soldiers had to give a mandatory divorce to their wives when they went to war. Uriah the Hittie who was such a soldier under the king’s command had given his wife Bashevah such a divorce. Before David did anything he called him back from the front lines and commanded him to go to Bashevah and reinstate his marriage. Uriah refused a direct order from the king and responded, “my lord Yoav (one of David’s Generals) needs me urgently back on the front line. In spite of this act of treason punishable by deat
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Sorry, but this is all non-inspired outside writings meant to paint David in the best light possible. The Tanach in and of itself says exactly what it means to say, and there are no shades of gray. Going out of your way to prove the sainthood of David is unnecessary, as he is already called a man after God’s own heart. He was just a sinful human being like the rest of it.
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David
August 12, 2019
WRONG, YOU’VE BEEN BADLY MISINFORMED!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Sorry, the written and oral traditions are just the meanderings of the human mind, my friend, no divine inspiration whatsoever. Again, please stick to the Tanach only, and live by that.
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David
August 12, 2019
continued ….. death, King David nevertheless sent him back and only after his death did he marry Bashevah who as I stated before was divorced! This is just a tiny scratch on the surface.
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Where are you getting your information from, if I may ask?
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David
August 12, 2019
Abarbanel, Tosafos, Rashi, Radak, Netziv, Talmud, Zohar just to name a few among other commentators and commentaries…. all well known for being imbued with Ruach Hakodesh (Divine Iispiration) and in many cases Prophesy.
I’m assuming that you know that Ruach Ha Kodesh possessed by the Tannaim and Amorayim of the Talmud Rashi and Tosafos is only a degree below Prophecy . The Zohar being pure Prophecy!
If you are truly a man of G-d than I’m sure you are convinced that all this is coming from Hashem Yizborach. Everything does. Including the bacon and eggs you eat most mornings!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
All claimed divine inspiration, but these are just the inventions of men. I studied several of these. Simply men who denied the true Messiah and claimed divine inspiration for themselves.
One example is salvation through “good deeds.” Not so. Leviticus 17:11 says atonement comes only through blood. There are no blood sacrifices today, therefore you have no atonement.
You’d do so much better sticking to the Tanach, the true and only inspired Word of God.
Peace be upon you.
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David
August 12, 2019
It’s amazing that you accept the New Testament translated under the Roman Emperor Constantine from the original Hebrew that somehow got swept under some rug. A Testament written in Lating over 200 years after the death of JC and his disciples! Yet you readily accept the testimonies of Luke, Mathew, John, Peter, Paul etc on a translation from an original that’s never been seen, but when it comes to the Tanach you only claim to read it straight with no shades of grey … lol. In most likelihood you don’t even know that without genuine commentators who can fathom all the secrets in Tanach through codes and other means you cannot understand what’s going on at all and you’re subject to utterly devastating misinformation and misinterpretation.
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Fair enough. Now, what about what I wrote regarding Leviticus 17:11. Where is your blood atonement?
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David
August 12, 2019
Do you see how I know the brainwashed mindset of JFJ folk. But Luke, Methew and the others were saints while David was a sinner, right? Sure …..
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Thank you for mentioning these wonderful books. Those two, along with Mark and John are filled with truth, beauty, insight, wisdom, and the most soaring of realities we can attain to.
If you haven’t read them, I strongly urge you to, David, that you, like me, may find peace in heart and soul.
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David
August 12, 2019
The blood atonement or Sacrifices are a very high and holy concept and it’s true that we can’t achieve a full atonement without them. We don’t even have the Red Heifer which cleansed from the impurity of death! But that’s precisely why we’re awaiting King Moshiach so he can build the third temple and reinstate the sacrificial ordinations. However until this happens (within the next few days!), our Sages have taught us that our earnest prayers are a wonderful substitute for bulls and rams. The most important thing even above the sacrifices are Mitzvos (good deeds), genuine prayer and above all a circumcised heart. These constitute the passport to the Kingdom of Heaven, while the sacrifices take us then on a guided tour through the many levels … to the infinite splendor of myriads of perfumed gardens and palaces where we’ll bask in the rapturous light of Hashem Yizborach! Our Heavenly Father!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Hi David, this is wonderfully written and you expressed this beautifully. At this point, I can only reconfirm my conviction that our Messiah has already come, and that He is the fulfillment of the sacrificial system and the final blood atonement for sin.
Wishing His warmest blessings upon you, David, as we await our coming Messiah! May your days be filled with peace.
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David
August 12, 2019
Amen to your blessings! Its possible that he’s already here and has revealed himself, as is written, to only a handful of the biggest Tzadikim. I can see you mean well and you’re for
G-d, but please stay away from the likes of Luke, Mathew and company. Please!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Thank you for the advice, but I will continue to cling to their precious writings.
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David
August 12, 2019
David, I read the New Testement along with Corinthians many times over. I’m a student par excellence of the New Testament. Sadly, if you truly find such inspiration in them as you claim all I can say to that is that you’re sadly mistaken and again I feel only pity for you. A Hari Krishnah disciple would say the same of their false beliefs! I don’t even believe that Emperor Constintine allowed for the original but equally false testimonies of the so called disciples of JC. The Roman Empire slaughtered more Christians than any other empire. So where’s JC’s atonement for death if so many were thrown to the lions or killed as gladiators? So Constantine had a lot he needed to change so as to make the Roman’s not look so bad!
The Hari Krishnas and their like will also tell you through their Vedic scriptures and Upinishads you will achieve true peace and tranquility in your heart and soul, but the sad fact is that all these false narratives act like a drug. Just like with Hansel and Gretel the Satan is very happy to have you feed of what seems to appear as the best and healthiest spiritual food only to claim you in the end for eternal damnation. Just like the wicked witch desired to throw Hansel and Gretel into the oven, so in a similar way Satan has a much bigger and hotter oven and the food he offers is a delight to the senses!
On a light note I’m sure that you’re aware that when the real Mosiach comes (they teach you that it’s the anti-christ, lol) than I’ll also be eating bacon and eggs, brother.
PEACE AND LOVE
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David
August 12, 2019
Amen to your blessings! Its possible that he’s already here and has revealed himself, as is written, to only a handful of the biggest Tzadikim. I can see you mean well and you’re for
G-d, but please stay away from the likes of Luke, Mathew and company. Please!
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dettinger47
August 12, 2019
Thank you for your advice, but I will continue to cling to their precious writings. Good health to you, sir.
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