The Best Birthday Card Ever!

Posted on December 10, 2020


By David Ettinger

Just had to share this with you.

Tomorrow is birthday number 63 for me, but it’s no big deal. I’m one of those Scrooges who thinks, “Everyone has a birthday, so it’s not like it’s something special. I mean, you did nothing to contribute to your birth, and to get to this point, all you did was not die.” (Blah, blah, blah.)

At work when my co-workers sing “Happy Birthday” to me, I sit there with my arms crossed and roll my eyes. When they’re done, I say, “Are you finally finished? I’d like to get back to work.”

It’s all done in fun, but I really am not a birthday-type guy (because, seriously, everyone has one; where’s the accomplishment)?

Anyway, today at work (because I won’t be in tomorrow), my friend Amanda bought me the card pictured above. (Notice how it’s in black-and-white only, no colors.) It’s perfect, and the best birthday card I ever received!

And to make it even better, the inside says: “This message brought to you by the National Foundation for Lowered Expectations.”

This is a birthday card I’ll actually save!