By David Ettinger
A Painful Truth
Perhaps the most painful truth for believers to absorb is that some of those they love most either are not now, or will not when this life is over, be in Heaven.
Heaven is the abode for those who during their earthly existences gave their lives to Jesus Christ. Hell is the destination of those who refuse Christ. You may wish this not to be true, but the Bible is clear; there is no escape clause.
This matter is extremely personal to me. In 1986, my mother died of breast cancer at age 53. One year later, my father succumbed to heart disease at age 58. I strongly believe that neither gave their lives to Christ. Furthermore, in my almost 36 years as a Christian, I have not seen a single member of my Jewish family come to Christ. It is a mournful thing indeed.
Of course I am not alone. Undoubtedly, like me, you have wondered: “I have given my life to Christ and trust Him that when this life is over, I will be spending eternity in with Him in Heaven. But how can I enjoy Heaven knowing that people I love dearly will never be there?”
Truths of Great Comfort
So, when you get to Heaven, what will be your memory of loved ones not there?
The Book of Isaiah is immensely useful. In a clear “end-of-the-age” passage, the prophet declares: “He will swallow up death for all time, And the Lord God will wipe tears away from all faces, And He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth; For the LORD has spoken” (25:8, italic added).
The message is clear: Tears – which represent sadness and mourning – will be dried by God Himself. The tears are not what is in view here, but that which causes tears: grief, lament, heartache, physical and emotional suffering, and misery. Such things are banished in Heaven, including that which ignites the most grief in believers: loved ones who die without knowing Christ.
Let’s look at another encouraging passage from Isaiah, 65:17, which again is clearly future: “For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; And the former things will not be remembered or come to mind.” What exactly is it that will “not be remembered or come to mind?”
Logic dictates that if this verse is speaking of “new heavens and a new earth,” what does not “come … to mind” is anything related to the old heavens and earth. “Anything” may be a general term, but it is all-inclusive. Think of anything bad associated with this world – from a stubbed toe to the death of an unsaved loved one – and you have “everything” that will “not be remembered or come to mind.”
Here is one more towering verse, Revelation 21:4: “and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”
This echoes the two Isaiah verses. There is really no need for me to analyze this verse for you; simply read it for yourself – several times – and soak up the divine glory and promise of it.
Summing It Up
I’m not sure how this all works. After all, like you, I am made of flesh and blood, and we are speaking of a time when we have cast our flesh and blood aside and have taken up residence in spiritual bodies (1 Corinthians 15:35-49). We also know this is a time when tears, death, mourning, crying, and pain are removed.
Will God simply erase your memory so that you will no longer even remember your unsaved loved ones? It’s quite possible; after all, Isaiah 65:17 does say, “And the former things will not be remembered or come to mind.” Conversely, some hold that believers in Heaven will remember their lives on Earth, but not be adversely affected by them.
Regarding the issue of your loved ones who will not be in Heaven, you need to take God at His Word and trust that when the time comes for you to join Him, He will see to it that you are filled with an eternity’s worth of inexpressible joy. Until then, be faithful in praying for your loved ones!
Though this is a very difficult topic to consider, my hope is that this brief study brings you peace and encouragement.
David Ettinger is a writer/editor at Zion’s Hope, Inc., and has written for Zion’s Fire magazine since its inception in 1990.
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vicklea
May 12, 2022
This is a difficult topic, indeed, David, but it also an encouragement to share God’s message of salvation to all who will listen while it is still “light” because the darkness is coming.
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dettinger47
May 12, 2022
Yes indeed, Vickie. We need to be sharing the light while we still can!
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pastorpete51
May 12, 2022
Great in depth examination of this question. My wife also has often used the verse that says “the former things will not come to mind.” when we talk about this in relation to loved ones.
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dettinger47
May 12, 2022
Thank you. It’s a powerful verse!
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The Quiet Roarer
May 12, 2022
I struggle with this too. I got saved in 1987 and still nobody else in my family has (yet). I wonder, if we truly do not remember the former things, could the tears be tears of joy? I truly hope so, because grief and sadness is the only other emotion that causes tears.
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dettinger47
May 12, 2022
Well said. Let’s keep on praying while our loved ones are still alive!
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Lisa Beth
May 12, 2022
I’m still praying for my parents David, they’re 90 & 92 and still turn from the Gospel.
Today I shared with Bob about my Bible study, I’m at the story & consequence of David and Bathsheba. Bob said, “Imagine Uriah meeting David in heaven, knowing David took his wife and killed him. Do you think he’ll remember all that?” I said, “well, I believe the glory of God in our presence will outshine any memory or event that occurred on this temporary world”
We just can’t imagine it, we must just press on and trust Him.
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dettinger47
May 13, 2022
Wow, that’s a great point about David and Uriah. I agree with your answer!
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seekingdivineperspective
May 13, 2022
David, I remember the first time someone said this to me, I was appalled. How could I forget someone so dear to me? I didn’t want to just forget them I wanted them SAVED! So yes, I keep praying, and trusting God knows best. And I do wonder if when we get to heaven, we will be delightfully surprised at some of the people we see there, who may have come to faith at the end of their lives and weren’t able to tell anyone.
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dettinger47
May 13, 2022
I pray for that as well!
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