By David Ettinger
No Romeo
It was 1994, and I was in a parked car with my girlfriend.
The past 2 years were a challenge as I lived in New Mexico, and she in Florida. We had met in Israel in 1992, fell for each other, and started a long-distance relationship when we returned to the States. What kept us apart is that we were both single parents who shared joint custody with our ex-spouses. Moving cross-country was not an option.
Here is the low point of our discussion. “David,” she said, “you haven’t even asked me to marry you yet.” I cluelessly replied, “I didn’t know you wanted me to.”
Yeah, I said that. It’s an understatement to say that I ain’t no Romeo, and that the things of romance have not been one of my strong points. This ought to give you a clue as to my least favorite book of the Bible. The book, of course, is Song of Solomon, also known as Song of Songs.
A Matter of Why
It’s not so much that I don’t understand the Song of Solomon, it’s more that I don’t understand why it’s there. And please, don’t drag out that sorry explanation that it’s a picture of Christ’s love for the Church.
First, the book was written about 950 years before the Church was even established. Second, the context does not allow for it. And third, based on that same context, that explanation is downright disgusting. The Song of Solomon extols the virtues of physical love as permitted in marriage, and by Bible standards there is a “steamy” element about it. To liken it to Christ and the Church … come on now!
One of the major elements of Song of Solomon is its imagery. A few examples:
- “Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone” (4:1-2).
- “Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies” (4:4-5).
- “How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince’s daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of an artist’s hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies” (7:1-2).
Of course this made sense way back at that time, but it reads awkwardly today. I’m sure in read awkwardly in Europe in A.D. 921 as well.
And then there’s the entire section extolling the beauty and glory of King Solomon (3:6-10). That would be okay in the book’s context – if it wasn’t King Solomon who wrote the book!
Help Me Out Here
Since becoming a Christian in 1986, I have read the Bible twice yearly, and this includes the Song of Solomon – I’ve never skipped it.
But honestly, I just don’t know why it’s in the Bible. I have read commentaries on it and tried to understand its purpose, but I don’t. It has never benefitted me intellectually or spiritually, and had I never read the Song of Solomon, I can’t say that my life would be any worse for it.
So, I’m turning it over to you. If you can tell me why this book is beneficial, I’d like to know. If you can tell me why it’s edifying, I’d like to know. If you can tell me why it’s in the Bible, I’d like to know.
And I’m serious about that. I honestly welcome your opinions; I’d be grateful for any insight you can give me. So, I open it up to you, and much thanks for your cooperation!
jarilissima
February 9, 2021
I cluelessly replied, “I didn’t know you wanted me to.” … oh, no 😅
And this is such a fun coincidence! I literally watched a Bible Project video yesterday morning on Song of Songs. Because I do like it, but it was also very head-scratching for me as to… why? If you’d like me to share the video link I’d be happy to, it’s still in my history and easy to find. It’s about 7 minutes long.
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Definitely, Yari. If you send me the link, I’ll watch the video. Much thanks indeed!
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jarilissima
February 9, 2021
Here you are, I hope it helps!
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Thanks, Yari. I’ll get back to you after I watch it!
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Hi Yari. I watched the video and thought it was excellent. Mandy had mentioned about the Garden of Eden imagery in this book, something I was not familiar with. I need to explore this more. Thanks loads for the video, and for introducing me to this website!
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jarilissima
February 9, 2021
It’s good to hear that! You’re very welcome 🙂 I’ve only recently started watching Bible Project videos, but so far, so good.
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Crissy
February 10, 2021
Best explanation of the book I have ever listened to.
Than you Jari.
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jarilissima
February 11, 2021
Very welcome 🙂 Glad to hear that!
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Lisa Beth
February 9, 2021
That was a wonderful explanation of this book, thank you for posting.
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Agree.
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jarilissima
February 11, 2021
You’re very welcome, Ms. Lisa Beth 🙂 I’m glad it helped you as well!
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Blue Collar Theologian
February 9, 2021
I don’t know if you’re familiar with their website but you would like their teachings on the Shema and other Hebrew words/concepts. Also, I saw the Bible Project talks about the Garden imagery in the Song!!
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
I’m not familiar with their website, but I’ll get acquainted!
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Blue Collar Theologian
February 9, 2021
The Song is not my most favorite read, but I appreciate the Hebrew poetry/parallelism. With that said it helps me to view the Song: in the ordering of the TANAKH it would be Proverbs which ends with the wife of Noble Character; then Ruth who is the archetype noble/ virtuous wife/woman; followed by Song of Songs how the man and woman should love each other. (While I could make some Garden parallels, I will spare you from that!)
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Excellent, Mandy. There is a lot to be said for how the TANAKH orders the books. Those three consecutively make sense. Thanks for the explanation; very much appreciated!
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Blue Collar Theologian
February 9, 2021
I should also add that Proverbs 31 was written FOR men and that was the kind of woman they were to look for, which is who Ruth is/depicts, Ruth is the kind of woman a man should look and then the Song follows. Someday I will blog on this, but I know it will go against the grain of what a lot of people think Proverbs 31 means!
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Because it goes against the grain, that’s even more reason to post this as a blog. Looking forward to it!
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Blue Collar Theologian
February 9, 2021
I am eager to hear your thoughts on the Garden of Eden imagery in the Song!
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
I’ll make sure to share them!
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seekingdivineperspective
February 9, 2021
My pastor preached on Proverbs 31 Sunday, a chapter I’ve read at least a few dozen times. But his take on it made my jaw drop, and it made so much sense, I’m probably going to write about it soon.
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
I look forward to reading it!
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Hi Mandy, I just watched the video Yari sent to me, and the Garden of Eden imagery was mentioned. I need to explore that. Thanks to both of you!
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ken riddles
February 9, 2021
I would have to familiarise myself with the book again. Any comment wouldn’t be fresh. I found it either strange or dare I say amusing – when you challenged it. As I took you for a ‘no questions asked’ man – when it came to canonicity? (or maybe you are not challenging that?) 😎
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Those are good points, Ken. I don’t question its canonicity … in other words, I trust that those who did the canonizing heard from God and got it right. Technically, I suppose, I would be questioning God, but of course not in a doubting or disrespectful way. I guess the best way to put it is that I’m asking God why He saw fit to include this book — but, of course, in a respectful and accepting way.
Thanks for asking, Ken! Your question definitely helped be hash out my own thoughts.
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ladysheepdog
February 9, 2021
Though I’m not familiar with the word TANAKH and all it means, Blue Collar’s comment does make sense to me too. I think its there for the guidance for a man and a woman in a marriage relationship. And any earthly relationship is suppose to help us better our relationship with and understanding of Christ, right? Its not always an easy book to apply to these relationships. Between the non-current form of poetry, we humans often struggle with relationships and some people are not called to marriage life, using Songs of Solomon may take effort to apply. I’m praying you find the answers you need.
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Thank you for these excellent insights. “I think its there for the guidance for a man and a woman in a marriage relationship.” Well said, and I absolutely agree. And I also like what you followed that up with: “And any earthly relationship is suppose to help us better our relationship with and understanding of Christ, right?” You’re spot on! Thank you for taking the time to contribute, and you certainly helped me in my understanding of the book.
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mrsmariposa2014
February 9, 2021
Oh, you make me smile, David! I can just hear that conversation. 🙂This is a great question and a great discussion. My brain fog does not help in lending a lot of wisdom just now, not to mention it’s always been an awkward book for me. Love in general is a challenge to my faulty lens. I usually get bogged down knowing this is by Solomon and just how many wives and concubines he had and love and devotion depicted here loses its shimmer. I can’t linger in those thoughts long or I will quickly get bogged down! I have tried to apply the oft-mentioned “Jesus and the Church” analogy. Much like you, it never felt right. I like Mandy’s thoughts there. Perhaps, all together, these books become wisdom imparted.
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
I’m with you regarding Mandy. She really added some good insight to the discussion. And the video Yari linked to is excellent. It’s only 7 minutes, so if you can carve out some time, it’s well worth it.
I’m with you, too, regarding Solomon. Doesn’t seem like the best candidate to write such a book.
This blog has even ignited some discussion here at work, especially among the young gals. One thing we all seem to agree on: One of the purposes of the book is God telling married Christians that sexual intimacy in marriage is perfectly acceptable, encouraged, and even ordained by God.
Thank you for “checking in” on this, Marisa!
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seekingdivineperspective
February 9, 2021
Maybe Solomon, with all his wives and concubines, had learned to appreciate the simplicity of one man, one woman, devoted solely to each other… Something we might benefit from today.
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Good point!
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Evad Mac
February 9, 2021
G’day David, I have never read it but wanted to ask you about your reading of the Bible twice yearly. Is that just from start to finish like a normal book or do you follow a system?
Cheers
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dettinger47
February 10, 2021
Hi Dave, thanks for asking. Email me at dettinger47@yahoo.com. It’ll be easier for me to get back to you, plus I want to attach a document.
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vicklea
February 9, 2021
I have no insight, but I appreciate your honesty. I don;’t enjoy Song of Solomon because of the imagery making me uncomfortable. But the book of the Bible that I struggle with is Leviticus. So many names! I hope you can give me some encouragement about reading this book because I start it next week in my Bible reading plan.
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
I love Leviticus. When reading it, focus on what the verses teach us about the nature of God.
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Blue Collar Theologian
February 9, 2021
Ray Stedman’s commentary on Leviticus is called On The Way to Wholeness and it is the reason why I can say along with David, I love Leviticus!
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dettinger47
February 10, 2021
I never heard of that one. I may check it out. Thank you, again, Mandy.
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Blue Collar Theologian
February 10, 2021
If you email me your address, I would LOVE to send you a copy!!!
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dettinger47
February 10, 2021
That’s very kind of you, Mandy. I’ll do so!
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Angel
February 9, 2021
So your love story never had a happy ending?
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
It did, we never married. That ended up being the best result!
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Angel
February 10, 2021
Well, the Bible does say, “Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.”
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dettinger47
February 10, 2021
It does indeed. Good call, Angel!
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Lisa Beth
February 9, 2021
“please, don’t drag out that sorry explanation that it’s a picture of Christ’s love for the Church.” Thank you! I have heard this so often and I cringe when I try and reconcile the sensual imagery with a Holy God.
Personally, I reject contemporary songs with lyrics like, “Falling in love with Jesus…” Really? Why did John fall at His feet as though dead? He is an awesome God, so far above our cozy or fleshly ideas of love.
Thanks for expressing my thoughts through thos post, press on brother!
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dettinger47
February 9, 2021
Thank you, Lisa Beth. Too much cheap, unchallenged teaching from pulpits.
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Crissy
February 10, 2021
I totally agree with you that the book has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus and the church, although that’s the way it has always been preached in the previous churches I attended and due to the content in the book I never ventured to ask the pastor how certain verses could be identified with Christ and the church. I appreciate the video Jari posted, it has certainly shed some light into the book.
Thank you David, your blog makes for very interesting discussions and learnings.
Keep up the excellent encouraging thought provoking work you are doing.
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dettinger47
February 10, 2021
Thank you, Crissy.
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Tom
February 10, 2021
You raise some good questions, David. I have also heard the Christ-church explanation and I believe there’s some merit in that. Old Testament types aren’t perfect representations of Christ, but they can convey a general notion, in this case the love of Jesus for His church and (what SHOULD be) vice versa. When I read Song of Solomon, what hits me most is that the church corporately (or myself as an individual member) often doesn’t have the devotion of the Bride.
Of course, the Jews of ancient Israel saw the Songs as an allegory of God’s love for the Israelites and that’s probably valid as well.
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dettinger47
February 10, 2021
I did read that, too, about Israel seeing this book as an allegory of God’s love for them. I like what you said about the “general notion,” which makes sense. Excellent insights, Tom!
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heavensreef
February 10, 2021
It is funny you should write on this because I have always thought the same wondering if I am missing something. But I just found one small verse I do like: “let his banner over me be love” I get the context it is used in but would love to know that GOD’S banner is over me with HIS love too. So I have heard that the book is how GOD sees Israel and HIS love for them but also for HIS church……for HER. I try to read it that way and it helps much.
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dettinger47
February 10, 2021
Great comment, Maxine. That particular verse is THE towering verse from this book, and it is a comforting truth. Yes, the Israel/Church angle is definitely a big one, and a commentator one or two above you notes the same thing.
Thank you, Maxine.
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heavensreef
February 10, 2021
Yes so let’s continue with it……our eyes will be opened to more scripture like it I am sure & will make a point to share with you if I have an ahh ha moment! GOD is so good that way!
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SLIMJIM
February 11, 2021
Fascinating discussion about Song of Solomon
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dettinger47
February 11, 2021
Thank you, Jim.
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SLIMJIM
February 11, 2021
You’re welcome brother
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dawnfanshawe
February 18, 2021
Well you inspired a most fascinating discussion there David. Personally I thought the video shared by Yari was most instructive and helpful. I can’t really add anything to it, either on the scripture itself or on the theme. But about 34 years ago, I went on a day’s retreat alone in the forest of Heidelberg and meditated solely on that book. I felt a call to come away by myself with my God, who loves me with an everlasting love. I spent a day reflecting on this Book and the miracle of God’s love for His fallen creatures. It was profound.
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dettinger47
February 18, 2021
Thank you for sharing that, Dawn. Sounds like it was an amazing time of fellowship and communion you had with the Lord!
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dawnfanshawe
February 18, 2021
It was. The fact that I remember it from 1986 is significant in itself!
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dettinger47
February 18, 2021
And for the record, 1986 is a year I will never forget. It was the year I got saved!
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dawnfanshawe
February 18, 2021
yay! Alleluia!
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Aboksu
February 19, 2021
Thanks for the inspiration. The song is my next destination. During Covid I’ve set all of the psalms, and now most of Proverbs, for singing. A few days ago I began asking myself, “When I finish the Proverbs, where will I go next?” I hit on, “Songs from the Song”, so now have a direction. Your post is a confirmation that it needs doing. Should you like to see the things I’ve done with Psalms and Proverbs, they’re at https://aboksu.wordpress.com/ and “screen-ready” for use in churches at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQj9dljI-yb7we0vdtMhBwg/videos
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dettinger47
February 19, 2021
Thank you, Aboksu, I’ll take a look.
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larger3
July 15, 2021
David, your writing on Song of Solomon got my attention because my husband and I have made this book an intense study for the last 5 years or so because we teach a marriage class and wanted to teach from the Song of Solomon. Most specifically couples had questions on marital sex but we didn’t know where to find the answers. We wanted to teach on the subject but only if it came from the word of God and not our experiences or opinions. The study revealed more than we ever expected.
God did give us the answers in the Song of Solomon to help married couples. We also knew we had to go further. We discovered what Dawn said in her comment above.
People think “ooooh” when they relate the Song of Solomon to Christ and the church, but we discovered the Song of Solomon tells the whole story of God’s love for His creation. It begins with Jesus accepting the cup of suffering and willing to die for our sins and ends with the church of Jesus Christ becoming one with Israel as the Lamb’s bride. It is His awesome story!
God instituted marriage to give a physical picture here on earth of oneness that God desires with His children.
John 14:19-20 Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. I that day you will know that I am in the Father, and you in Me, and I in you.
There is more about this on our website, simplysongofsolomon.com.
God bless you, brother!
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dettinger47
July 15, 2021
Thank you for your insights. Very appreciated!
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